In our busy modern western world we are all chasing the big ‘O’, it’s often the ‘end goal’ of sex that is likened to a huge explosion of pleasure and ecstasy. We hastily race to the finish line to the ‘big bang’ and whoosh … it either doesn’t arrive, or it’s short, sharp and dissatisfactory. Unfortunately, lots of us are chasing the elusive big ‘O’ more often than we are actually experiencing it.
So, with that in mind, how can we all experience orgasmic pleasure more often? Well, it all begins with us expanding our definition of orgasm. When we expand our definition of orgasm, our experience of orgasm expands. Our sexual energy (orgasmic energy) lives in the base of our body in our womb space and genitals, it’s alive within us all, however some of us are more aware of it than others (hence, some people are more able to feel orgasmic energy than others).
To begin to feel our orgasmic energy more during sex, we simply need to let go of the ‘end goal’ of orgasm (which is often clitoral orgasms for women, and ejaculatory orgasms for men) … that’s right, no more race to the finish line! You see, when we do this, we begin to notice all the other orgasmic sensations that are running through our body from the moment we begin sex! When we shift our awareness we realize that we are far more orgasmic than we ever imagined.
And if you want to explore this new way of being with toys, go for it. Using toys to expand your orgasmic experiences can be fun, by yourself, or with a partner. Notice different ways of stimulating your vagina…the vagina is an endless source of pleasure, it just takes a bit to explore and find your pleasure spots, plus the commitment to not race to the finish line, and before you know it you’ll have your mind blown with new pleasurable orgasmic experiences!
Engage Your Mind & Body For The Best Sex Ever
Use mindfulness to have the best sex ever in the on-demand workshop Mindful Sex, led by Dr. Holly Richmond, LMFT.