Are you still stumped on gift ideas for your sexually curious friend or lover? You could always get them a toy or tool for the bedroom, like a luxurious vibe or some lube. But for a person who cares more about expanding their mind than their collection of stuff, why not give the gift of sexual knowledge this year? Here are our favorite books, workshops, courses, and worksheets for the aspiring sexpert in your life. (Or just yourself!)
1. The Gottman Institute’s 30 Days to a Better Relationship, $30
John and Julie Gottman are giants of the relationship therapy world, and this course brings their skills and experience straight to your inbox. You’ll receive one email per day for 30 days, with little activities and prompts you can try with a partner. Give it to a friend who loves their spouse but feels stuck lately, or give it to your boo if you two have been tender during quarantine.
2. The Come As You Are workbook, $11 on Amazon
Emily Nagoski’s instant classic Come As You Are is now in workbook form. Billed as a “practical companion” to the book, this collection of worksheets, journaling prompts, diagrams, and illustrations is the perfect gift for a curious, introspective friend who loves to explore.
3. Luna Matatas’ FemDom Coaching, $106.25 for a 1-on-1 coaching session
Luna is a seasoned sex educator who offers an array of webinars and workshops. Her FemDom class will introduce you to techniques for skills like subspace, aftercare, consent, rituals, and more. Now that everything’s digital, she can bestow her expertise onto you wherever you live.
4. The School of Life’s Pillow Talk cards, $20
This educational organization has all kinds of books and workshops (not to mention a great newsletter!), but we particularly love their card collections. The Pillow Talk cards open up the channels of communication with your bedfellow, with questions like “What kind of power dynamics excite you?” and “In what way do you feel ashamed or guilty around sex?”
5. Intimacy on the Plate by Olga Petrenko, $39.99 on Amazon
Have you been getting more into cooking in quarantine? You might as well incorporate aphrodisiacs into your repertoire. In Intimacy on the Plate, Olga Petrenko serves up more than 200 recipes that are “known around the world to contribute to sexual desire.”
6. Ace by Angela Chen, $21 on Amazon
This fascinating and well-researched book about the spectrum of asexuality reminds us that horniness is not an interesting personality trait in itself, and compulsory sexuality is just as bad as sexual repression. Get this for the asexual or demisexual person in your life—or anyone who’s struggling to separate their true desires from what they’re “supposed” to want.
7. Esther Perel’s Rekindling Desire workshop, $199
If you’ve read Esther Perel’s books Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs, or listened to her mesmerizing podcast, you’ve probably thought, “I wish she were my therapist.” This online multimedia course gets you pretty damn close, for a fraction of what she likely charges by the hour.