The G-spot still fuels healthy controversy, even in 2017. The internet will assure you that everyone can have a G-spot orgasm. Patriarchal culture can often convince people that G-spot orgasms (vaginal orgasms) are somehow more real or more valid than clitoral orgasms and that these are the types of orgasms that should be happening during penis-in-vagina sex. However, when you talk to real people, there’s a lot of confusion about whether the G-spot exists, where you can find it, and how it’s supposed to make you feel.
One vagina-owner I spoke with said, “From what I’ve heard throughout my life the G-spot should be an ‘obvious’ place or feeling when ‘found.’ I think I know where mine is. But I’m not 100% sure.”
Another woman shared, “I am confused by it! I’ve sometimes felt what I think is the G-spot stimulated during doggy-style sex but it also made me feel like I had to urinate, which wasn’t pleasant. I’ve never found it myself.”
What do we actually know about the G-spot?
Though many vagina-owners do experience pleasure from penetration or internal, vaginal stimulation, modern science has not yet explained the exact nature of the G-spot.
The idea of the G-spot, a pleasure zone on the interior, frontal wall of the vagina was first suggested in the 1950s by a German scientist named Ernst Grafenberg (hence the Grafenberg-spot or “G-spot” as we have come to call it). The G-spot was popularized in the 1980s with the publication of a book called The G Spot and Other Recent Discoveries about Human Sexuality by Alice Khan Ladas, Beverly Whipple, and John Perry.
More than half a century later, the exact nature of the G-spot is still difficult to define.
Most recently, the G-spot is thought to be part of the internal clitoris that you are stimulating through your frontal, vaginal wall. Did you know the clitoris extends up to 5 inches inside of your body? It is a vagina-owner’s primary sexual pleasure organ and it is very possible that vaginal penetration (by fingers, toys, or a penis) could stimulate the internal legs of the clitoris and that this would feel very good.
Other researchers have discovered that there is an area on the frontal wall of the vagina that has more nerve endings and blood vessels than the rest of the vagina that could explain the sexual, even orgasmic sensations associated with the G-spot.
So, yes, lots of people experience pleasure from stimulating the front wall of the vagina but there is not yet a definite anatomical structure that we can identify as the G-spot.
It’s probably worth exploring whether there’s a sweet spot inside your vagina that turns you on when touched. Maybe that spot can even bring you to orgasm.
Here are some tips.
Where can I find my G-spot?
Gif by Lea Carey
Insert two fingers into your vagina with your palm facing up and towards you. About two inches inside your vagina you should feel a spot where the tissue is slightly rougher than the surrounding vaginal wall.
You may have an easier time finding this spot if you are already turned on so begin by losing yourself in that go-to fantasy about your hot coworker and by touching yourself in ways that you already know feel good for you. Then move on to looking for your G-spot. Use lube if you need more slip and sliding power.
If you don’t feel a rough patch, that’s ok! Every vagina is different. For some people, the G-spot may be a true, identifiable spot but for others it’s a more generalized area on the frontal wall.
What do I do with my G-spot?
Start by using the pads of your fingers to test out different strokes against your G-spot. You can use some of the same moves that you use on your clitoris! Try circles or a “come hither” motion with your fingers.
If you feel the urge to pee, it’s because pressing on the G-spot also puts some pressure on your bladder. Some people find this pleasurable, some don’t. Either is fine!
Sex Toys for G-Spots
A lot of people need extra pressure to achieve a G-spot orgasm so you might want to try a vibrator or a dildo for more intensity and better angles.
A vibrator can provide you with a steady rhythm and amplified sensations that your fingers won’t be able to achieve. Dildos can come in handy if vibration is over-stimulating for you.
Angle the flat, soft head of any sex toy against the spot you’ve found. You can keep it inside you and recreate some of the moves you did with your fingers. You can also move the vibrator or dildo in and out of you, maintaining pressure against the frontal wall of the vagina so that the toy will slide over your G-spot as it goes in and out.
Finally, it’s really common to have trouble achieving orgasm through internal stimulation alone, though for many people, it is possible. If you want to incorporate the G-spot into an orgasm, try paying attention to your clitoris and your G-spot at the same time. Oftentimes, clitoral stimulation can bring you to orgasm while the G-spot stimulation adds a level of intensity and depth to the experience that makes the orgasm feel different. Try using a clitoral vibrator like the Eva in combination with your new G-spot moves and see what you discover.
It can help to go into this experience without expecting to orgasm. Your goal should be to relax and to be attentive to what feels pleasurable or not. Much like muscle memory, you are beginning to teach your body how to find and remember new ways to feel good.
Partner Positions for your G-Spot
If your partner has a penis, try positions where your partner enters you from behind so that the tip of the penis will put more pressure on the frontal wall of the vagina. Think doggie-style and reverse cowgirl. Again, adding a hands-free, clitoral vibrator into play with your partner can intensify your experience.
If you’re working with two vaginas, your partner’s fingers will have a wider range of movement and dexterity than your own. Teach your partner the moves that worked best for you. Additionally, this could be a great time to have your partner penetrate you from behind with a strap-on. You can also look for a U-shaped couple’s vibrator or dildo that can penetrate both partners at the same time. Many sex toys are specifically designed to put pressure on the G-spot.
Our G-spots exist in a landscape of myths–some helpful and empowering and some…not so much. Remember, your body knows itself best so get up there and start exploring! Don’t forget your lube.
*The illustration pictured is not fully to-scale, and some of the organs have been modified in size to accommodate for the G-Spot.