The blanket beneath me squished as a pried myself away from the wet spot soaking through all the layers of my Martha Stewart Collection sheet set. I stared up at my partner all glassy-eyed and tipsy from the circular puddle of ejaculate between my legs. Up until this point, I had never looped myself into the gushy universe of epic squirt-queens with an admirable amount of water pressure rushing from their vaginas. But by some combination of arousal, serenity, and hitting the all the right parts, I found myself PROUDLY changing the sheets at 3 a.m.
Squirt euphoria, for me, is a distinct emotional luxury; the lower half of my body laid spent while my top half tingled — but the force in which the liquid flowed was more akin to a super soft waterfall rather than an open fire hydrant. I scoured the edges of my porno brain to find a similar physical release but came up empty with the obvious, but good to remember, realization that squirting is different for everyone and porn won’t always show the real-life adventures of Laura with the soft waterfall.
That squirt, gush, drip, jet, spurt, ejaculation is much debated with often unclear origins and actionable steps. So, here: a comprehensive guide to female ejaculation. Let’s get wet, babes!
What Is It?
Female ejaculation, or squirting, is watery or sometimes viscous white fluid released from our genitalia when sexual aroused, stimulated, and during orgasm.
Where Does It Come From?
Let me introduce you to the Skene’s Gland i.e. your new best friend and member of the Let’s Get You Off Club. This gland lives on the anterior wall of the vagina — very close to the opening of the urethra — and can excrete ejaculatory fluid when the G-Spot is aroused. Because the area is surrounded by nerve-roots from the clitoris, it’s a prime location for pleasure for anyone with a vagina.
Why Does It Feel Like I Have To Pee?
Let’s think of this area as a neighborhood that’s built onto itself. Your apartment is up top but below is the grocery store that shares a wall with a coffee shop/plant boutique. The G-Spot and the bladder share a wall while the uterus lives above and the legs of the clit extend back towards the G-Spot and the rectum. The neighborhood down there is extremely crowded, so it’s no wonder you feel like you have to pee when all your parts share fist-size space.
Is It Pee?
This. Okay. While yes, there are traces of urine in female ejaculate, it’s made up of water, acid phosphatase, uterine fluid, prostatic-specific antigen. It’s a hodge-podge of liquids that blend together for a big, sometimes drenched, climax. Side note: Semen also contains urine. While urine is not sterile (sorry, friends), neither is any other part of you and you’re fine. Have you ever eaten right after touching the pole in a New York City subway? Yeah, then the trace amounts of urine are no match from the cesspool that is the A train. You will be fine.
Can Everyone Do It?
This is definitely one of the more debatable topics within the ejaculation conversation. Without being able to test every single person with the genital needed for this act, it would be incredibly difficult to give a scientific answer. However, the chances are highly likely. Because we are used to associating the act with what we see in porn, our understanding of what it means to squirt is highly distorted by what we have access to viewing. Some people can bring the pressure and volume, some dribble out, while others spurt like an on-off faucet.
Of course, we should consider your arousal level, what kind of stimulation you are receiving, and your body’s proclivity to liquid build-up for that release. You can absolutely learn the key tenants to squirting (see below) and still only see a dollar-coin sized amount of liquid across your Brooklinens.
Sex often feels like a different playground from real-world life because of the built-up vulnerability and shame we associate with it, but it is truly the same thought process for everything else i.e. some people are naturally predispositioned to be amazing squatters (me) but struggle forever to do pull-ups even with all the training (also me). It is simply a different approach.
What Are The Best Sex Toys For This?
Everyone. Get out your credit cards now. The best sex toys for female ejaculation are ones that are hard (chuckle, chuckle), curved, and dense. Internally, humans respond more to pressure than we do to vibration because of how spread out our nerve endings are in comparison to the compact formation externally. Products like the njoy Pure Wand and the Eleven meet all the requirements to enact your nerves, provide pressure, and press against your G-Spot without having to strain your body to get there. Also, pyrex or glass products (no, they will not break) like the Glassed Curved Wand will get you where you want to go if you’re into a lightweight, travel-friendly product.
How Does One Learn To Squirt?
There are a few ways to go about taking this matter into your own, literal, hands. If you have a local sex shop that offers workshops, go to them! I learn best by reading how-to books while some find visuals like educational porn (yes, this a thing) to be incredibly helpful. Identify your best learning techniques and activate on them for this sexual venture!
Wanna go straight into it? Check your calendar right now. What are you doing tonight? Block off that time and designated it for a night of self-pleasure. Take a bath, light a candle, watch some porn, get yourself super into the moment — really feel yourself and bask in that indulgence. 90 percent of sex is mental. You need to be mentally in it if you want that 10 percent to win it.
Before embarking on the physical: Go pee. This has nothing to do with decreasing the chances of urine in the ejaculate, but it will make you feel a lot more comfortable as you start your squirting journey.
Take your lubed-up curved toy and insert it into yourself. You’re aiming for that curved point to be two-inches in and up inside the vagina at the center of your G-Spot. Apply pressure while moving the rounded edge back-and-forth along the surface as you stimulate your clit with your other hand/vibrator. Keep this repetitive force and movement going, and allow yourself to stay in the moment. Worrying about the length of time you’ve been at it or what you should be doing tomorrow will distract from your ultimate goal. Breathe deep and bear down (like you have to pee, but you won’t) so that your body is familiar with that release motion instead of clenching. Bear down when you’re about to orgasm and keep up that pressure!
How Much Comes Out?
This truly depends on the person, arousal, hydration, how much your body can produce, but the most comprensible range is from a teaspoon to a full cup. It is good to point out that while some people will be naturally #blessed to super-soak their partner while others (like myself) will need to work at making that coveted wet-spot. Squirting, if you think about it, is a performative act that has been linked to a kind of sexual royalty. The amount will never quantify the pleasure given, so remove focus from how much and start thinking about where else you want your partner touch (butt, say butt)!
What Happens If I Do Everything And Nothing Happens?
Let’s say you’ve followed all the steps, bought all the books, tried all the things, and you’re not sitting in a pool by the end of the night. Now what? First, you just took a night out for yourself to try something new and had a great orgasm. You win. Second, I’d like to redirect you to a portion of the above question: It is good to point out that while some people will be naturally #blessed to super-soak their partner while others (like myself) will need to work at making that coveted wet-spot. It takes time and practice. Third, you might have and you’re blurring what is lubricant and ejaculate down there!
What About Sheets?
There is a surprising amount of waterproof and water-resistance sheets available for purchase online. Sure, they claim they are for everyday spills but we all know what kind of spills they mean! The absolute best is the Liberator Waterproof Fascinator Throw. It’s an incredible velvet barrier that can be place over your bedding before playtime begins. It’s machine washable, discreet, and perfect for travel-squirters! Plus, don’t you want to cum super hard and lounge on a silky-satin surface afterwards? I do.
Can You Ingest It?
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. If semen can be swallowed, then the magical elixir that is female ejaculation should be put in smoothies alongside your protein powder.
Should You Feel Embarrassed By It?
No. Definitely not. You don’t need to scream “I SQUIRTED!” from the rooftops if that’s not your style, but embarrassment has no place here.
What Happens If Someone Shames You For It?
Get up, get your stuff, and leave. You don’t need that negativity in your life.
What Should You Know Moving Forward In Your Ejaculation Journey?
Think of it as just that: a journey. If it didn’t happen on the first try, that’s totally fine! The point of all of this is to get to know your body a little more and work with what you’ve got to have the best orgasms possible. Drink water, listen to your body, wear sunscreen, and ejaculate in your own time.
Laura Delarato is a writer, body-positive activist, sex educator, and the creator of 1-800-HEYLAURA, a newsletter dedicated to great sex and loving yourself.